This is for all my dear girlfriends in agriculture. Bless their souls for living, working and breathing ranch life. A shout out goes to my mom...I think she is the best farm girl on the face of the planet, not that I'm biased or anything. Sorry to all the men and city folks out there, that might feel left out. Don't worry, I don't forget about you when I'm writing my blog entries. Forgive me, but I'm still posting these top 10 tips for women on ranches.
Oh, and while I'm thinking about women in agriculture, that reminds me...I will be a guest speaker this winter at the Women in Blue Jeans Conference held in Mitchell, SD on January 15-17. If you aren't signed up yet to attend, be sure to set aside time to make it this January. For more details click here.
Back to the good stuff...farm gals: here is your guide. Feel free to add other foolproof methods to farm survival. :) Have a great weekend everyone! TGIF!
Ranch wife 101 guidelines:
1. Always load your horse last in the trailer so it is the first one unloaded. By the time he's got his horse unloaded, you will have your cinch pulled and be mounted up ready to go - lessening the chance of him riding off without you with your horse trying to follow while you are still trying to get your foot in the stirrup.
2. Never - and I repeat never - ever believe the phrase "We'll be right back," when he has asked you to help him do something out on the ranch. The echoing words, "this will only take a little while" have filtered through generations of ranch wives and still today should invoke sincere distrust in the woman who hears them.
3. Always know there is NO romantic intention when he pleadingly asks you to take a ride in the pickup with him around the ranch while he checks waters and looks at cattle. What that sweet request really means is he wants someone to open the gates.
4. He will always expect you to quickly be able to find one stray in a four-section brush-covered pasture, but he will never be able to find the mayonnaise jar in four-square feet of refrigerator.
5. Count every head of everything you see - cattle especially, but sometimes horses, deer, quail or whatever moves. Count it in the gate, out the gate or on the horizon. The first time you don't count is when he will have expected that you did. That blank eyelash-batting look you give him when he asks "How many?" will not be acceptable.
6. Know that you will never be able to ride a horse or drive a pickup to suit him. Given the choice of jobs, choose throwing the feed off the back of the pickup. If he is on the back and you are driving, the opportunity for constant criticism of speed, ability and your eyesight will be utilized to the full extent. "How in the *@*# could you NOT see that hole?"
7. Never let yourself be on foot in the alley when he is sorting cattle horseback. When he has shoved 20 head of running, bucking, kicking yearlings at you and then hollers "Hold 'em, hold 'em" at the top of his lungs, don't think that you really can do it without loss of life or limb . Contrary to what he will lead you to believe, walking back to the house is always an option that has been used throughout time.
8. Don't expect him to correctly close the snap-on tops on the plastic refrigerator containers, but know he will expect you to always close every gate. His reasoning, the cows will get out; the food will not.
9. Always praise him when he helps in the kitchen - the very same way he does when you help with the ranch work - or not.
10. Know that when you step out of the house you move from the "wife" department to "hired hand" status. Although the word "hired" indicates there will be a paycheck that you will never see, rest assured you will have job security. The price is just right. And most of the time you will be "the best help he has" even if it is because you are the ONLY help he has.
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Comments (3)
You are one smart cookie, Mandy! Keep up the good work. Gramma Carol's friend and yours, too, Pat
Posted by Pat Koistinen | July 18, 2008 4:48 PM
Posted on July 18, 2008 16:48
Now I come from Pennsylvania, so I guess my advice would be better suited for "farm wives", but heres a couple things I learned dating my beef/crop farmer fiance over the last 6 years.
When he says "I'm leaving the field early tonight" he probably means you'll see him sometime after 9 pm, as apposed to sometime after 9:30, when he usually gets home.
When you help unload a wagon of hay, let him stack it in the mow while you help throw it to the front of the wagon. NEVER be the one putting bales on the elevator, because inevitably, you will move too slow or too fast. Plus if you can throw a bale pretty far, the rest of the guys on the hay crew earn new kind of respect for the person who usually brings out their supper.
Finally, realize that a long drive to buy feeder steers or deliver a load of hay out of state, just might be the closest thing to a night out you get for a long time.
Posted by Jennifer | July 22, 2008 8:16 AM
Posted on July 22, 2008 08:16
I'm not a woman, and I prefer black jeans in wintertime. If I'm in the neighborhood, I'd like to stop by and buy your book!
Posted by Jerry Hinkle | July 26, 2008 1:49 AM
Posted on July 26, 2008 01:49